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Lifes Great Lessons
August 02, 2013 by:
ushakiran Points: 12
We can never take anything or anyone for granted in life ...
No better Teacher than life
With age and experience one gets to realise that there is no better teacher than life itself, just when we think that we have got it all figured out, out comes another truth and we are forced to do a rethink. One can be sure that this is an ongoing process and no one reaches the final stage of wisdom in their life time ..
We commit the same mistakes again and again and are unable to judge people for what they are and generalise things to such an extent that we get blinded by half truths.
Personally, I have made many such mistakes thinking that I am able to judge situations and people ,although it did work in many instances, sometimes , I have been proven wrong. There have been many incidents that may appear to be small or insignificant, but they do make an impact on our minds and we are forced to change our opinion about people !
When we meet people for the first time we feel some vibes, either positive or negative or no vibes at all with some. The first impression, does make an impact and might in some cases pave a way for the future relationship between people. But I have noticed that they are not true impressions in every way. It does give us an indication of an individual's personality, but one cannot base ones judgment based wholly on it.
Incidents that made an impact
Certain incident s make an impact or a lasting impression on our mind - one such incidence took place a few years ago when I was driving back from Manipal having dropped my daughter who was studying there. It was late evening and raining quite heavily when I started to drive back to Mangalore. After covering about 10 kms of distance with difficulty , I was forced to stop because the rain had become very heavy coming down in thick sheets and the visibility was very poor .I carefully drove to the side of the road and stopped unable to see anything at all and found many other vehicles doing the same...
After a while it began to clear a little and I decided to drive on since it was beginning to get dark and I had more than 40 kms to cover before I reached home. Just then I saw someone tapping on the window, I slowly rolled the glass down and saw a woman standing, completely drenched and shivering and asking for a lift. I was not sure how to react but the first and foremost reaction was fright ! scared because there were instances where women had stopped cars and then their accomplice had joined them and looted the person and the car too. I told her that I was planning to stay on for a few more moments and she could take a local bus plying on the road. She went away and I stayed on..
After waiting for a few more minutes I decided to start back . After I covered some distance I could see the lady walking completely drenched ,when I was about to stop the car and offer her a lift, I saw her open a small gate in front of a house and go in, which was probably her house. I then realised that she was genuinely in need of a lift or some company since it was dark and raining and she was walking alone on the highway , probably more scared than I was. I feel bad to think about this incident because of the lack of trust we have developed may be due to the circumstances and the present social environment .
Now for the Second incident :-
I was watching my little nephew the other day who sat quietly playing with his toys while we , including his mom , who is my first cousin ,were sitting and gossiping. We thought that he was busy with his games and could not understand anything about what we spoke.
Later, when his mother was talking to her sis in law about whom we were earlier discussing, my nephew shocked them both, and more so his mom by saying certain things that we had spoken and discussed. It was very embarrassing for his mom and created some uncomfortable moments with her sis in law .I have seen this happen often, when people take us by surprise.
Here it was a child who innocently put us in a spot , but at times even adults do this. We may think that they have only perceived so much, but they probably have perceived a lot more . At the same time, there are some other individuals who are not able to perceive even the finer points of a situation, they just take matter at its face value.
Appearances do matter
Earlier I never attached too much importance to this aspect. But of late I am beginning to realise that our general appearance- meaning how you are dressed and carry yourself and your facial expressions have a lot to do with the impression you create on others around you and in turn, it reflects on your own personality.
I have a relative who I meet on and off at weddings, family get together, in the fish market, grocery shop etc; She no doubt has her own share of difficulties but she always used to look as if the sky had fallen over her head carrying the same expression- Oiled hair tightly pulled back , dressed in unbecoming baggy clothes and perpetually with a sour, grumpy expression. Naturally most people avoided her. I too tried my level best to have very little to do with her because she would leave me feeling depressed and morose. In fact most people referred to her as that Grumpy old woman...
I realised that she was not to be seen for quite sometime, and the other day I came across her and was pleasantly shocked/surprised and genuinely happy to see her . She had gone visiting her married daughter and I am sure the daughter had tackled her well. She looked neat, her hair loose and making her look years younger, (in fact she was not very old ), she also had a smile on her face and spoke to me about her experiences at Mumbai and she seemed a different person altogether. It made me think how one can take control of one's life and personality by taking care of one's appearance and generally being pleasant and developing a positive outlook. It makes life a lot better to deal with.
In life, we do tend to get utterly disappointed by people and their attitudes. Many a times we tend to have great respect and adulation for certain people who come into our lives , but in most cases I have realised that it was just a myth. After interaction, when you come to know the real person - the very same person who you thought was supposed to have had saint like qualities or someone really magnificent turns out to be a very ordinary person or may be even a below average person .It can happen with anyone , but the truth really shatters us when we realise this ...
At times some people tend to surprise us with their reactions. The same people who we thought were dependable and strong crumble under pressure and those who we had written off as weak and not dependable come up with an unexpected inner strength during a period of crisis. So, it is better not to make judgments about people, they may surprise you later either in a pleasant or an unpleasant way.
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