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Eight Reasons for Sibling Rivalry

October 14, 2011  by: Paulose  Points: 25   Category: Others    Views: 552

As parents, we say that we treat our children equally but, in reality, it is not possible to do so. Rivalry between siblings grows even from the womb! There are Cains and Abels almost in every family.


You need not be surprised at the rivalry between siblings. Sibling rivalry is a natural reality of life due to so many physical, psychological and other reasons. There will always be disagreements between siblings because every human being is unique. However, parents can use these opportunities to teach their children how to resolve these conflicts and learn adjustability in life. This is a very important tool to have later in life for harmonious living.

Sibling rivalry for better living

You may find brothers and sisters fighting each other making all stressful. But look at the positive side of sibling rivalry. Make it a learning step. In learning how to deal with rivalry, children learn how to cooperate, problem-solve, adjust to situations, and negotiate. This helps them probably grow up to be more tolerant of other people, and more generous, too.

Eight reasons for sibling rivalry

Although the exact causes of sibling rivalry may very from one family to another, there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help the parents to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but also to deal with sibling rivalry more effectively when it does occur.

1) Kids want to possess their parents' whole attention
Kids generally do not want to have shared attention. They never like taking turns in their parents' attention. They want the whole. This attitude should be trained properly.

2) Jealousy
This is one of the most commonly found reasons for sibling rivalry. It is natural that a toddler or preschool child is jealous when a new baby is born. It can lead to continued jealousy on the part of the older sibling as time goes on. This jealousy can increase when the siblings find that their younger ones are more cared. They are jealousy of each other and throw tantrums whenever they feel jealousy.

3) The spirit of competitiveness
It is natural to compete all the time, for everything for survival. The spirit of competitiveness is so screwed up sometimes that kids do their nut and they do plan on harming their own brother of sister. If this is not handled properly, it can destroy the whole family.

4) Proximity in age
Sibling rivalry can be caused by proximity in age. Researches suggest that siblings that are within two years' age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings.

5) The self-pride of the child is hurt
Many times the correction measures of the parents produce opposite results when they rebuke their children in front of others. It may hurt the self-pride of the kids and grow into great problem, including sibling rivalry.

6) Lack of communication
Poor communication among siblings causes conflicts. As stated above each child is unique and has very special qualities of its own. When lack of communication suppresses the needs of one child, it turns into sibling rivalry and hatred.

7) Variation between talents
Every kid may have many hidden strengths and some easily identifiable talents. Even between the twins one child may be more talented than the other. This uneven distribution of approval may lead the less talented child to envy the other, causing a rift between the two leading to sibling rivalry.

8) Favoritism
Researches say that some genetic factors may make the parents favor one of their children which results in child rivalry what we see in the story of Jacob in the Old Testament. In such circumstances even if the parents try not to show it, the children will always know who the favorite is. When they come to know that they are not the favorite they are easily provoked to rivalry.



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