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Instruction Versus Example in Parenting

October 20, 2011  by: Paulose  Points: 25   Category: Others    Views: 601

In parenting, instruction should be fortified by example. Teaching disciple should be based on love. Then only parenting can be healthy and fruitful. If our value system is warped, there is every chance that the children will justify their own twisted ways.


Parenting is a wonderful experience. Each day is a learning episode in life. Healthy parenting is a modern necessity. Unfortunately parenting also has become commercial today! It is at the cross roads since parents themselves are losing the vital values of family life. Marital problems, divorce, single parent, egoism in family adjustments, etc. have thrown parenting into a great disaster. There is a great breach between instruction of the parent and actual life example of the parent.

Parental instruction based on exemplary life

Love is the base of life. St. Augustine wrote, "The measure of love is to live without measure." Only a mother or father can teach this basic lesson to a child by their exemplary life. Where there is love there automatically sacrifice intervenes. Parental instructions are strengthened by true love and sacrifice. Examples are stronger than words.

Ten important instructions that a parent should give

A parent should impart the following ten important instructions to a child and they should be fortified by their own exemplary life. The parents should be the role models of what they teach them.

1) God sense

'God first' is the most necessity value in life. The children should be well aware that God's help is only a prayer away. If the parents give prominent importance to money and other things their children also will have the same attitude.

2) Family union is the greatest wealth

Modern nucleus family has devalued the greatness of family. Respect to ane another should be taught from the beginning.

3) Education for personality development

Education has an inevitable place in a family. But it is a holistic growth of the whole personality. But nowadays education means acquiring some degrees and securing a job. It should enable adjustment in cordial relationship with others.

4) A good name is an asset

A good name has got more value than riches. Riches perish; but good name does not. Going after wealth at any cost is always dangerous.

5) Good habits are valued

Cherish good habits. An attitude that money can give anything is not correct. Good habits are learnt from childhood. Children should be aware that habits make them.

6) Health is wealth

Health is acquired through good life style and habits. Health should be maintained to have a healthy body and mind. It is also an asset that comes through good habits.

7) Behavior speaks louder than words

There is a Tamil proverb that means if you find the mother amidst quarrels, you can find her daughter in a worse place. Parents are the role models of children. Hence good manners should be taught by the examples of the parents.

8) Win or lose, play the game right

A success got through hook or crook may not be real. Malpractices in life are not cultivated in one day. Even in simple things one should be sincere and trustworthy. Children become corrupted mostly by the poor role models of their parents.

9) Care for others

Human concern is the most important one in social life. Selfishness and egoism result in conflicts and misunderstandings. Expecting others to serve you will not serve the purpose of life.

10) Waste in any form should be discouraged

Time, talent, opportunity, or any other source should not be wasted. They are gifts from God for your good use. What is wasted is lost and will never return.

The software children of our present age expect more exemplary life from their parents and others than children of the past. Bu a process of osmosis they absorb into themselves parental visions which are flawed or otherwise. Positive ideas given by the parents can assure the children success in life.



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