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Being Assertive and Firm when the situation demands...

October 29, 2011  by: ushakiran  Points: 12   Category: Others  Earning $0.50   Views: 933

As long as one person is not being taken advantage ,all the time, it continues to be a normal and balanced situation.That's when the question of being assertive comes in..

         

Most of us would try to make our relationships work even when there are adverse conditions.But there are times when certain individuals can be very dominating or trying.Some people do tolerate this sort of a situation and go on suffering such attitudes from others rather than be firm or assertive.They would rather give in to other people's demands than be assertive even when the situation demands . Whereas , there are some other people who are always assertive in any relationship , always like to have the upper hand.

Ideally it is best to maintain any relationship, may be even put up with a certain amount of aggressive behavior from others if it balances out. But one has to be assertive if the situation demands. That of course would be the last step that one would take.
Need based relationships do take a lot out of you.But at the same time we cannot help having such situations in our life and go through with them.

It is nature's rule about the survival of the fittest.When we evolved for many centuries we lived life like animals with the more powerful person getting what he wanted and the other lesser mortals looking up to him.It continues to this day - one can see it in every walk of life , be it politics,industries,personal relationships - just about everywhere. Physically and mentally stronger people tend to dominate others just because of their forceful personality.It depends entirely on us - as to how we are going to counter that without hurting or getting unduly hurt.It really is a tough act to maintain.This can happen with one's relatives or friends too. All in all , it is much easier to tackle with friends, because you become close friends only after having gone through different stages in your relationship.Some people with domineering traits resent anyone countering them and showing that they can stand upto them. At times it does seem to be a very childish trait where a person always likes to dominate and turn things to his/her advantage..



Most people who are balanced prefer to give in , because they want to maintain a good all round relationship with people close to them or known to them.However, when this becomes a practice it can lead to serious consequences when others take advantage of you, especially your partner.It may a reach a stage , when you have had enough and begin to retaliate as it happens in most cases.One needs to be firm about certain things in life so that one is not taken advantage of. If you are always at the receiving end and if it frustrates you ,then it is all the more essential that the need for asserting oneself becomes necessary at least some of the time .Being firm and assertive is also being able to show that you are able to handle any kind of situations and are a confident person.These are positive qualities very much required for any individual to become successful !This trait makes you become more responsible since you have to take responsibility for your actions !

There are bound to be many arguments and fights between two people especially in a intimate and close relationship.As long as one person is not being taken advantage ,all the time, it continues to be a normal and balanced situation.That's when the question of being assertive comes in.Someone wise once said that as children we get conditioned to be docile and a child is exposed to more negative words like 'No' , 'Dont do it' and the rest of negativities since the time he/she begins to understand the implications. It is only natural that we should grow with the feeling that we should please all, and, later at some stage when we finally begin to assert ourselves , we become unpopular.. It is no doubt very difficult to maintain relationships and one wrong word or action can turn the whole thing sour.But sometimes when you are being taken for granted it is better to assert yourself than give in than mentally suffer!

We can put our foot down in some situations and with certain people because we are not too bothered about the consequences that may follow our actions .But with others we tend to be careful about how we deal because they matter to us and we do not mind putting up with certain amount of attitude from them.

Relationships are fragile and hence need to be handled with care. But, one should also realise and accept that it is best maintained when there is equality and and a mutual feeling of freedom to act and express oneself freely..




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