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Why Does A Teenager Try To Elope?

January 13, 2012  by: Paulose  Points: 30   Category: Others    Views: 496

Eloping teenagers have become a great challenge to most of the parents today. Scales of have undergone a great change due to the modern lifestyle of commercialism and consumerism.

         

A transfer caused a storm in Tessy's house. Her hubby had to join duty within two days. Their family which was residing there for more than 15 years had to get ready for a move within a few days. Diana, their teenage daughter, was furious against this move. She was crying, shouting, refusing to go with them and making all sorts of resistance. She was building up reasons for her stay back. But the real fact was going away from her boyfriend. She was not ready to part with him and she cannot bear to leave him behind. She was even ready to be separated from the family to be with her boyfriend. Tessy tried all the means that a mom could try. She tried crying, begging, pleading and coaxing but of no use. Her husband also tried all possibilities without success. He tried threatening, beating and all kinds of means that a father could do.

Were they right in their move? Was Diana right in being so stubborn? Is she old enough to make her decisions? Are these parents realistic and reasonable?

Modern parents

Parenting in the modern times is stranded in so many ways. Parents are running behind money and comforts rather than caring for the real growth of the children. In their pursuit of money they do not find enough time to think of them. Families have taken a new metamorphosis of nuclear size sending away or rather away from their own parents and reduced in it number.

Modern parenting needs more involvement. It is not a mere involvement of finding comforts or school education for the children. It needs an involvement of Involvement of time, energies, money, concern, prayers, hopes, and their personal presence. It suggests that they have to set aside their own personal interests for their teens, and they have to adapt an attitude of giving higher priority to the physical, mental and spiritual needs of the children than their own interests, comforts and pleasures. Modern developments and lifestyle require more concern, investment and involvement from the side of the parents.

Time has changed

Modern generation has got its own way of development and the elders have to consider their individual opinions. Their personality should be honored. It is not good to down treat their sentiments and ill-treat them. They should be convinced to take right decisions. Fighting or quarreling with your children should be avoided as much as possible. There are many moms who irritate and fight with their children even for very petty reasons such as drinking milk, eating or taking cough syrup.

Involvement of parenting is quite necessary

Modern lifestyle treats parenting as if it would come automatically. Parents think that their duty is over with proving the children food, dress and education. They neglect the importance of value education. They neglect the direct involvement of the parents in the lives of their children. They seem to keep boundaries between their growing teens fearing that it may provoke the teen life and result in unwanted results. But what actually happens is negligence on the part of the parents from the beginning and failure to instill in them values of real life throw them into shocking situations as shown above.

Should parents punish the children?

Sometimes it needs to punish the children and correct them. In their emotional upset sometimes parents lash their children and thrashing them with pouring angry shouts. But is it the way? It serves only a venting burst of unhealthy emotion. This kind of treatment yields only negative results.
Involvement builds an "I want to share in your life" mentality in the parents. Good parents recognize an undefined boundary between sharing in a teen's life enough to provoke a warm response, and sharing in a teen's life too much, provoking a feeling in the teen that he has no privacy and that the parents are getting too nosy or domineering.

A solution from an ancient sage

Thiruvalluvar, an ancient sage of South India who lived 2,000 years ago suggests in his work Thirukkural a healthy solution to the parents of modern times. This method of punishment applies for all, including rulers of kingdoms. He says, "It is in the long-term interest of a successful ruler to reprimand firmly and punish very lightly." (Thirukkural 562) Parents should understand and respect the growth of their children toddlerhood into adolescence.

Parents' relationship with their children

Parents should make their children's personalities be responsible to their age. Hey should be aware of how others from outside affect the personalities of their children. Adulthood is important where the children find outside persons to pin their love, hopes, and changing needs.
.Poet Khalil Gibran has expressed exactly how parents should view their relationship with their children saying, "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
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