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When A Relationship Fails

September 15, 2012  by: ushakiran  Points: 12   Category: Others  Earning $0.80   Views: 568

Ideally a marriage should bring the couple closer with age,but it does not always happen instead people grow apart...


Most marriages go through troubled phases . I personally feel that any marriage can be saved with some effort unless the condition is hopeless.If there are children all the more reason for making that effort since they become the innocent sufferers.So, it becomes the responsibility of the parents to make that extra effort to save their marriage .

We can see that things are much more stressful these days and a marriage has too many negative influences.Here communication is important and is the key for any successful relationship in life especially in an intimate relationship like marriage !

A Matter Of Adjustment , Compromise and Introspection

Adjustment is of course necessary also lots of space given to each other without curtailing each others freedom and understanding.It is very easy to get into a situation from where it becomes difficult to reconcile or go back to the past.so each step should be taken carefully to maintain a relationship.In life we have to compromise,understand and adjust to make life happy for us. Marriage in my opinion is the most difficult and the most sensitive of all relationships and one has to do a lo of adjusting to make it a success.

Compromise is a way of life.We have to compromise a little more within a marriage since you are with each other all the time.Some ego issues ,unless dealt in the right manner tend to blow up into major problems and can lead to a complete breakdown of the marriage .
When there are problems which can easily happen in any marrriage both should remember that no one is perfect nor is it the fault of any one individual, just that things have not worked out .It is a matter of making some more effort from both the sides. There are so many reasons why a relationship can fail,but ultimately it is in the hands of the two partners to decide what is good for them .

When there are problems in a marriage the normal outcome is that the couple become negative towards each other and get easily led by others.What needs to be done is for them to sit and discuss things frankly and do lots of introspection as to where each one has gone wrong.

When we see a marriage facing too many problems we should realise that such a situation is bad for the entire family and especially so when children are there and become the innocent sufferers .It is actually a lot of things that come together to create problems for the couple and sooner they realise that things could have been better if they had made an effort earlier , the better for them and their family.When there are children involved it is better to remain at least on cordial terms and make the best of the bad bargain, so to say ! Or else try to make another fresh start and see if they can still patch up and move on in life !

Outside Factors

It is advisable not to involve outsiders nor share details about your problms since people have a way of making matters worse by passing judgments and taking sides. One should remember that no one can and has the right to judge others.But people always talk as if they are an authority on other peoples lives.This is a very dangerous tendency which can ruin a perfectly happy marriage and family life !It is sad to see a relationship break down after many years of togetherness, but when things have gone way beyond repair ,one has to accept and move on !

When a couple cannot see eye o eye and are constantly having arguments and fights , it is best to keep away from them unless they ask for help , since any kind of talk or well meant advice can only do more harm.Most of the time a relationship comes under stress for some small minor reason which gets blown up because of outward influences.

Ego , abuse and Lack of Understanding

Many marriages fail because of lack of understanding and also because of ego issues which tend to come in the way of what is otherwise a good marriage .Most relationships fail because of ego hassles and also stubborn attitude by one of the partners.We have to adapt and compromise as and when necessary or else face unhappiness and failure of relationship.
Unless people think rationally and leave their egos coming into every issue it is not possible to move forward in any relationship.No doubt that we all have our self and egos wanting to be pampered a little now and then, it is but natural, but you need to have a balance and know how to overcome difficult situations without letting your egos come in the way.

When you are caught up in an abusive situation it is better to take things head on when there is misbehavior and stop it right at the beginning. However only when it has reached a stage of no return should the person think of moving out of an abusive relationships , normally they get targeted and also people say malicious things about them.However,it is best not to bother about such things and go on with what you think is the right thing to do.

But here one should try to go to the root of the cause which gives us an insight as to why the other person is behaving in such a manner.In a relationship people have to accept changes that happen with circumstances and make the necessary adjustments, thats what living is all about.You have to do that anywhere in life and if you cannot do so then you will find difficulty in adjusting anywhere.It is of course different when there is abuse and a complete breakdown of a relationship.

Many successful relationships attain the kind of status where they grow together over the years but in a bad marriage people grow apart but continue to stay together because of certain circumstances .Ideally a marriage should bring the couple closer with age,but it does not always happen.Nowadays we come across relationships and marriage breaking up after 25 - 30 years too simply because ladies now feel that they dont feel that the social stigma matters as much as it did before and that being the only reason for having stuck on for so long .However,taking everything into consideration a couple should make sure that they exhaust all options before going in for a separation.

Author: Sarika        
Posted Date: 09/19/2012    Points:11    

I know some people whose marriages have broken after 13 and 20 years. It really surprises me that after living together for so long and after getting used to of that person you decide to part. I tried to talk with these people and the answer I got was “I do not know what exactly happened. We just do not know each other anymore”. This is so true Ushaji what you have written that instead of growing together people grow apart. There might be many social, emotional, psychological and scientific explanations for this phenomenon but it really is bewildering.

When it comes to an abusive relationship then it is better to stop the abuse in the beginning itself. If not then the abuse will only increase because silence will be taken as acceptance. Women in most cases tolerate abuse on social, emotional and economical grounds. Most of the women are not self dependent and those who are they leave their jobs (not all of course) after marriage to take care of the family and fulfill their duties and responsibilities towards the new relations and situations. It becomes very difficult in this situation to leave an abusive relationship as the woman has no source of income or survival and life becomes really hard.

But those marriages where there are fine, educated and decent people involved and still these marriages do not work because of plethora of outside and inside factors, I believe people should really consider all options and pros and cons of their actions and like Ushaji said “A couple should make sure that they exhaust all options before going in for a separation”.

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